Do You Remember When?

Today is nothing special.

Not a birthday.

Not an anniversary.

Nothing special. And yet my nostalgia gene is kicking into high gear.

It started when Mark was cautiously pushing his walker toward the kitchen table for lunch. All of a sudden I had a flashback to the man who picked me up, took me dancing until 3 AM, treated me to breakfast at Eppie’s, and then sneaked me back home before my parents woke up. 

My eyes started to tear up again as I watched him doze off on the couch, only to startle awake with some random comment about fried chicken.

Outside of a photo filter, I can no longer look in the mirror and kid myself that the wrinkles aren’t overtaking my face. The years are catching up in more ways than one. I tell myself that age is only a number. That my grandmother was active and sharp until past 100. That all I have to do is eat the right things, keep on moving, and trust God to do the rest.

And that’s the rub. I think I have this backwards. Trusting God should be first on the list. But I digress.

I said this day was nothing special, but that’s not quite right. Today is Maundy Thursday this year. Meaning: day of the mandate … the day that Jesus washed His disciples’ feet and asked them to do the same for others.

So let’s back up. I said “it started when”… 

Mark has been unable to get to the shower since November of this past year. I have been giving him bed baths, followed by standing baths, every other day. On those days, I wash his feet. The feet were the cause of this problem to begin with. Two toes have been partially amputated due to diabetic neuropathy. The neuropathy not only causes problems with infection, but also plays havoc with balance. Hence the walker.

Recalling the scripture about foot washing, Peter was quick to say to Jesus that He should not wash Peter’s feet. Jesus answered that unless He wash Peter’s feet, Peter had no part in Him. That’s all it took for the hyper Peter to answer: then not only my feet, but all of me! And Jesus’ reply to that? One who has been bathed need only have his feet washed. Hmmmm, how do you interpret that? I would agree with those who say that once we have been washed (cleansed, saved) by Jesus, we just need to keep our accounts short (quickly ask forgiveness for those daily sins we all are prone to commit). 

“Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.” Wash our sins away (symbol of foot washing) as we do the same for others.

I remember my mother staying with an unrepentant husband. Stubborn forgiveness.

I watch as relationships of those I love forget the forgiveness/foot washing image. 

And I weep for lost years as I flash back to dancing until dawn.

Foot washing is not about a ceremony. It’s about doing what needs to be done without complaining. About forgiving like we’ve been forgiven. Keeping our accounts short. 

Remember (note to self). 


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