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Monday, July 15, 2019

Chapter 20: The Last Days at Home

From Take Care of My Child…for a While by Joyce Sawyer

More and more it hurt for Ricky to be moved, so he spent more and more time in bed and less in the living room.

I called Dan to see if he would like to spend some time with Ricky. He came and slept on the floor in Ricky’s room. He played games and talked and rubbed Ricky’s head, which seems to ease some pain.

One afternoon Ricky was on the futon in the living room and he started to scream that he was being choked and he couldn’t get his breath. The doctor just lived one block over and was home at the time. He came right over. He increased the pain medication.

After that, Ricky got quiet. But in a little while he was crying again. I asked him what was the matter. “I’m not going to make it, am I?” I told him we had done everything we could; the doctors had done everything they could, and there just wasn’t any way to kill the cancer. But he would go and live with God and be strong and healthy again, and be able to play baseball and football.

He said, “I don’t want to go. I don’t want to leave you.”

We both cried.

As the pain increased and the paralysis progressed, Ricky came to the place where he was ready to die. I told him I would hold his hand and then Jesus would hold his hand. It would be that easy.

Now he needed pain pills every two hours day and night. I set the alarm. I barely went to sleep and it was time to get up again. He would call “Mama!” and sometimes it would only be an hour.

It is terrible to watch your child die.

Chapter 21 to follow