A cloud hangs over this day. Just say the date and certain feelings begin to rumble around inside. Like knowing where I was when JFK was shot; like the feeling one gets on the first day of school as an elementary student; like smells that automatically trigger nausea; that is what this day is like.
I was sitting at my computer in my previous office. Alternately staring out the window and paying attention to my work on the screen. Listening to WMBI online (funny how we can only hear a Chicago station on our computers in downtown Chicago). I heard Dave (news) punctuate the air with the news that a plane had just hit the World Trade Center. "What a horrible accident," I thought. Tuned to the online news service at the same time for any updates, when Dave came back on saying a second plane had hit. This was no accident. The office was buzzing by now. The TV in the conference room was pushed into service as several of us took turns watching the news. Then when one went into the Pentagon, I finally broke down. I have two brothers who work within ear-shot of the Pentagon.
But the place I work is unique -- not so unique that others weren't doing the same thing, but as a business ministry, we rallied for prayer. Some sobbing, but most laying out their fears and requests before the loving, just, all-powerful, gracious and merciful Heavenly Father, Who we know to be the true Creator.
That was just our office. But the entire campus was called into action as we held hands and totally circled three city blocks in alternate prayer and silence.
Vengeance is Mine, says the Lord. We hope to see it this side of heaven, but we may not. And we are not to wish anyone's demise, although frankly I would like to see all the perpetrators wiped out. Instead, we are supposed to pray for their salvation. Oh, this is a hard hard thing to do. I don't want to do it.
As soon as I realize that to God we are ALL sinners, then I can appreciate the fact that He has saved me, so why not other sinners? God is just. But God is also merciful and gracious. AND He has the power to accomplish whatever it takes to show those attributes. I don't.
The nagging sense of dread comes and goes. But the raw wound is healing. If it weren't for the fact that our privacy, our safety, and our complacency were at stake, I'd say we were on the way to a complete recovery. But no. Life will never be the same. If for no other reason than we have come face to face with those who HATE us, and claim that their god sanctions it. What a terrible god to be a slave to.
So, make this note: ask me if I've prayed for a terrorist today. And not that he/she would be killed, but that he/she would know truth, and that the truth would set them free.
