Testing my HTML

Blogspot is cool for another reason! I can let it do my dirty work for me. I'm in a training class for creating a Facebook page, and we're using BlogSpot to convert our HTML for us. Very cool!

Life Goes On

It's hardly fair, I say, I say,
It's hardly fair, I say
For life to travel blithely on
As if a normal day.

A life is gone, the widow weeps
I know not what to say.
We know the truth, but maybe she
Knows not the narrow way.

"Whate'er it takes," he used to say.
He often would repeat
That if his wife would closer be,
He'd glad accept defeat.

It's our turn now, it is, I say
For us to meet her need.
What would be worse, in this or next,
His word she wouldn't heed?

Don't turn away, o, grieving one.
Don't turn away, I say.
It's only in Christ's sacrifice
You'll meet again one day.

I Hate Food!

No, that's a big fat lie.

What I hate is the hold food has over me. Why does something so simple as daily food consume (pun almost intended) my thoughts? Why do I have to think about what I'm going to eat? When I'm going to eat it? How much?

It's because that simple daily food consumption is not so simple. The need has turned into entitlement and on to gluttony.

I get the impression that most sin is the living-outside-the-boundaries of a God-given need. For example... adultery/ fornication/ homosexuality are outside the boundaries of the God-given satisfaction of sex. Greed is the o-o-b result of daily needs being met. And gluttony is the o-o-b result of our daily need for food.

This morning I went to a Weight Watchers meeting with Ingrid. I really like the facilitator. She is upbeat, balanced in her approach, but what rankles me about the meetings is the focus on food...recipes, what people did and didn't eat, how to eat more and get away with it. This is the very problem I'm trying to run away from, folks! The focus on food!

I've been a yo-yo dieter for years, claiming every single time that "this is the last time." But, like an alcoholic, I have to admit that this is going to be a life-long struggle of wanting more than I need, and therefore needing to want less.

I will also admit that this time is different, because there is more at stake than just my weight. I'm moving into the era in life where my peers are on meds of all types for hyper- and hypo-this-and-that. I don't want to go there. It may be in my genes and unavoidable, but I want to avoid it as much as possible.

So, although my focus has to be on food for now (just enough and no more), I have to look beyond the scale and on to fruit...of the Spirit...self-control.

And casting all my cares at the feet of Jesus every morning, waiting in expectation for my daily food.

Which, by the way, I don't really hate. It's a love/hate thing.

Something Old, Something New

As the old adage goes: something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue.

Not that I would be superstitious. No, it's tradition! So the morning of January 15, 1977, I dragged my maid of honor (well, matron, I guess) to a Penney's store and found a blue garter that I could throw away. Hey, it qualified for the traditional garter, something new, and the blue. And the garter I wore on my other leg (that I wouldn't dare throw away) had belonged to (borrowed from) my mom. So ... in my estimation at the time ... old.

It was the first year that the Air Force was celebrating the commemoration of Martin Luther King's birthday, so our wedding had to be postponed by two hours. No problem.

My m-o-h had helped me move stuff into our new townhome, and Mark would move his things in after the honeymoon. In the meantime, that townhome became my home base. And that morning was when I remembered that I had forgotten the new blue garter.

Due to circumstances that I will not dive into here, I was on edge that morning and was working just to smile.

At the Air Force chapel, veil in place, I took my father's arm. He walked me down the aisle, gave me away, then stepped up to the platform to co-officiate with another chaplain.

That's when I noticed something. Whether from prompting by others to keep the blood flowing, or from sheer fright, Mark's knees were knocking. What an auspicious beginning: me on edge and Mark's knees knocking.

If God gives us the days, my goal is 79 years like Grandma and Grandpa Nelson!

But here we are, by God's grace, 33 years later. Somewhat older, but somewhat newer. Too much borrowed...and sometimes (but not often) blue.

Life in the Balance

I cannot weigh 2009 in a balance and come up with any semblance of equality or tipping.

The hurts were deep, but the joys were soaring. And to say that one would outweigh the other is not going to work. Life just doesn’t work that way.

I get a visual of a giant hand shaking a tray of hilly sand. Once shaken, it all levels out. As a literary device it might work for some illustrations, but not for the emotions and spiritual lessons of a year like 2009.

Death was waiting at the doorstep in January. And yet in February, a job of mammoth proportions was given out.

Anxious waiting and financial stresses. And yet the year ended with two new grandsons, beautiful and healthy.

No, you can’t shake this year down and make it level. But my favorite Bible verse still applies. I love it. I cling to it. I repeat it even when I don’t believe it.
Romans 8:28 (NASB) And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.

Out with the old. In with the new. And trusting God for making me into the image of His Son!

Tips the balance every time.

Right Around the Corner

2010 is waiting on my doorstep. I think I want to open the door to see it. But right now I just don't have the time, and I'm running in circles, doing and not doing stuff. Both the "doing" and the "not doing" are causing me anxiety.

"Just stop it!" I say. Doesn't work. "Pray" I say. Does it work? Is it supposed to "work"? That sounds rather formulaic to me.

Prayer is communication. Private, personal, supposed to be two-way, if I would just listen. So part of prayer is silence? Maybe that's what I've been missing. The listening part.

Prayer, blogs, Facebook...it's all a pouring out. The soul stretched out for all to see. Except for the prayer part. My soul is always stretched bare for God to see. The difference is that He sees the REAL me, not the one I'm trying to show others. The "got it together" person. Or the "always anxious" person. He sees who He made me to be...who I am right now...and the chasm - or gap - between the two.

When I write, I realize that others could be reading it. And so everything is couched in preaching to myself and either encouraging, exhorting, or entertaining others. But with the Heavenly Father, there's none of that.

He strips the anxiety away to show what is lying beneath it: a broken relationship (or one on the brink), desires that are ungodly, perceived needs that aren't being met (translation: selfishness), words that are left unspoken out of fear of rejection. It amounts to a big pile of nothing in eternity, but a big pile of useless fretting here.

So in about a week, my door will open to a new decade. That is if God gives me breath for the next week. And at that time, I'll really try to stop and listen. Listen to the prompting for what He intends for 2010 in my life. Given His propensity for gift-giving, love, power, justice, etc, I shouldn't be too anxious, should I?

The New Elf Yourself for 2009!

I signed a "no social dancing" policy, but I don't think this is social... is it? Hahahaha!

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